Uh Oh, It's Election Season and the Holidays. I Don’t Like Any of This Sh*t. It’s Too Much. What Should I Do?
Here it is. Election season and the holidays are a toxic blend of stress and chaos. It’s a perfect storm of political ads, end-of-year pressures, and family gatherings that feel more like debates than celebrations. It’s hard enough to manage either one of these on its own, but together? Who can blame anyone for just sitting at home and watching all three seasons of Is It Cake? on Netflix. The worst part? There's no escaping it or anyone who wants to discuss it. Whether you're scrolling through your social media feed, trying to enjoy a quiet dinner or going to the grocery store…, it’s like the world is determined to drag you into the mess of thoughts and opinions on all of it.
So, what should we do when we our mental health is fraying, and there’s no way to just opt out? Here’s a few tips.
With the Fall Brings… Cuffing Season
The air is cooling and the leaves are turning that red/russet, golden yellow so is our collective mood toward dating. It’s cuffing season, that time of year when the prospect of cozy nights snuggled up next to someone seems infinitely more appealing than braving the cold solo. But before we all rush into the comforting arms of a new relationship (or situationship), let’s pause and think about what we’re getting into.
Are You About That Drama? Let’s Talk Drama at Work
We all know that one person who turns every small situation into an epic, season-finale-worthy drama. The real question is: could you be that person? Before you jump to any conclusions (and maybe throw shade), let’s break down a common framework that helps us understand the role we play in creating drama in both life and work using the Karpman Drama Triangle.
It’s Latino Heritage Month for Afro-Latinos too
As an Afro-Latino therapist, I often witness the mental health challenges of those that struggle to navigate multiple cultural identities. While it is glorious to be a blend of the diaspora, at times it can feel difficult for some to find themselves between the pressure to preserve a heritage and step into whatever society might deem more of value. I get it, I’ve been there. There is also a generational impact of these struggles. For those of us with parents or grandparents who immigrated, we often inherit their trauma without fully understanding it. There’s a lot of unspoken grief passed down from one generation to the next—their sacrifices, the pain they endured to give us a better life. We carry their stories with us—their survival, their loss—and sometimes that shows up in our own mental health without us even realizing it. It can manifest as anxiety, perfectionism, or the constant fear of failure because we feel we ‘owe it to them’ to succeed. And if we struggle, it can feel like we’re letting down generations of family, which only adds to our emotional and psychological load.
Did You Read What You Signed?
Do you read what you sign? Yes, I’m talking about that dense document that you get via email from the office when you are about to start with your therapist. That document that might look like a nightmare to read before your first therapy session? You know, the one filled with office policies, procedures, and an oddly specific cancellation policy. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, skimming through the pages while nodding like we’re understanding everything when, in fact, we feel like ‘we got this’.
Why Seeing a Therapist Early in your new relationship can Be a Game-Changer
Starting a committed relationship is such an exciting time, full of dreams about the future. Whether you’re a cisgender heterosexual couple or a polyamorous queer triad, building a strong foundation from the beginning can make a huge difference in how your relationship unfolds. One often overlooked tool in this process is therapy. It’s not just for fixing problems but can be incredibly useful when things are going well, too. Let’s dive into how seeking therapy early on can benefit both traditional and non-traditional relationships, and what potential challenges you might face.
The Need for Collective Compassion: Reimagining Our Future Together
Self-compassion has become such a buzzword that it's easy to think that being kind toward ourselves is only a purely personal journey. We all talk about how self-care and self-love are the keys to happiness, and while these practices are important, they might not be enough on their own to feel relief. The truth is that to truly care for ourselves, we must look at how compassionate we are toward each other.
On Violence: An essay on the enduring challenge
Violence continues to permeate societies worldwide, leaving indelible marks on all of us. Its persistence has made it a central focus for scholars across various disciplines, particularly psychology and sociology, alongside news outlets and social media.
Rethinking Disability Through the Lens of Ableism
Disability is often viewed through a narrow lens that focuses primarily on medical and social understandings. However, disability is multifaceted and deeply entwined with political dimensions that influence how society perceives and addresses it. To better understand this complex landscape, it is essential for us to understand our ableism and explore how disability intersects with politics in order to be better allies.
Men should talk about stuff too: Breaking the stigma
It’s surprising to believe that men and mental health is still a topic shrouded in stigma and misconceptions. Societal expectations and traditional masculine norms often discourage men from openly discussing their feelings and mental health challenges which is leading to dire consequences. The statistics regarding men's mental health paint a troubling picture:
You Don’t Look Sick: Living with an Invisible Disability
When I first became aware of disabilities, images of wheelchairs, white canes, and sign language came to mind. I never thought of invisible disabilities until I went to graduate school for clinical social work. Mental or physical illnesses that you can’t see which are just as impactful on people’s lives as visible disabilities. Learning about these was important knowledge to obtain. I never thought that what I was learning was going to impact me so immediately and directly. Until it was, I’m a therapist and now I have an invisible disability.
The Perils of Summer Love: Love Bombing & Gaslighting
I’ve been thinking about what it means to listen. Listening is a form of active engagement which I think is different from hearing. Hearing is physiological. Hearing is a passive and automatic sensory process. If we have the privilege to hear, we don’t control it. Listening is an active and intentional process. It involves paying conscious attention to the sounds we hear, interpreting them, and understanding their meaning. Listening requires focus, cognitive engagement, and often emotional involvement. It's a deliberate action that goes beyond mere auditory perception to include processing and comprehension. We don’t have to have the physiological function to hear in order to listen.
How Do You Listen?
I’ve been thinking about what it means to listen. Listening is a form of active engagement which I think is different from hearing. Hearing is physiological. Hearing is a passive and automatic sensory process. If we have the privilege to hear, we don’t control it. Listening is an active and intentional process. It involves paying conscious attention to the sounds we hear, interpreting them, and understanding their meaning. Listening requires focus, cognitive engagement, and often emotional involvement. It's a deliberate action that goes beyond mere auditory perception to include processing and comprehension. We don’t have to have the physiological function to hear in order to listen.
Are you using your child to get back at your ex? The Impact of Parental Alienation
Constance and Damian have recently gone through a bitter divorce. Constance feels deeply hurt by Damian's actions during their marriage, and though he wants to stay involved in their children's lives, Damian does not want to be married anymore. This is a blow to Constance, she thought things were going ok despite the challenges of raising two and the economic stress they’ve been under. Constance can't seem to move past her anger. She starts making it difficult for Damian to see the kids—canceling visits at the last minute, ignoring his calls, and speaking negatively about him in front of their children. As weeks turn into months, Damien notices that his son, Jake is becoming more distant, even protective of Constance. His younger daughter, Grace, seems confused. Constance’s unresolved anger is inadvertently causing emotional harm to their kids.
It’s Self-Care Month (designated by the World Health Organization in 2019).
Thanks WHO! Did you know the concept of self-care in the United States originated as a medical term in the 1950s for long term care patients? Later the ‘self care’ concept was adopted by activist groups during the civil rights movement as a way to manage the wear and tear on one’s body when on the front lines. BUT, if we take a moment and decenter western history around the concept, we can see that indigenous forepeople have been attuned to the needs for time for holistically caring for the body (and the planet, for that matter) as a collective responsibility for a community long before the concept was named and, now talked about by influencers. ( I mean, I remember my grandma talking about “resting her eyes”... can anyone else think of terms or phrases from elders that talked about ideas of rest?) Anyway…
Bridging pride and heritage: managing your mental health in the LGBTQ+ and AANHPI Community
This current time between the months of May and June in the U.S. can be especially challenging for LGBTQ+ Asian American and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islanders (AANHPIs) as Heritage Month and Pride Month observances are back-to-back. While the intersection of these observances can be a unique time for us to celebrate both identities, it can also bring up the struggles that come with belonging to communities that often conflict or contradict one another.
Summer is Sexy: Let’s Talk About Safer Sex and Consent Without Shame - 5 Things to Think About
Summer 2024 is about to be here, and with it comes sun-soaked days, late-night adventures, and the sizzling promise of romance and connection of all kinds. Whether you're getting that sexy drip together for smashtime or getting all Bridgeton about it …preparing to rekindle an old flame. It’s time to Let’s Get It On (for you old timers), make that WAP happen ... .or just be in the heat of this undeniably sexy summer. But with all the excitement, it’s essential to keep our conversating (it’s in the Oxford Dictionary!) or conversations around sex, consent, and safety both proactive and shame-free.
A Letter to Parents and Caregivers on Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Child/ren: A Journey of Understanding and Love
You are taking a crucial step towards fostering a nurturing environment where the child/ren can thrive authentically. What you are embarking on is not only confidence-boosting but life-saving. While society might have you focus on negative stereotypes and overload you with statistics, over the course of a few blog posts, I’d like to focus on some core elements for parents and caregivers so that you can focus on building support, and understanding along with your unconditional love. We need more healthy, honest and happy relationships within family units.
Navigating Depression in a Chaotic World
In a world fraught with challenges, it's normal to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed. From distressing news headlines to personal struggles, the weight of societal and individual burdens can feel insurmountable. These external stressors can trigger situational depression, a common reaction to specific events or circumstances. However, for some, these feelings persist, evolving into long-term depression that requires professional intervention.
Thriving Amidst the Chaos? Burnout in the Age of Late-Stage Capitalism
You’ve been here a long time. You might turn to doom scrollingl through our social media feeds to capture the news of the day with a dash of levity with a baby or cat video but you know you have to get to work. You tell yourself you’re fortunate to have a job, even if the job might not be enough to sustain, or it’s just enough but not fulfilling. You desire to do something different or want to find a way to give back to your communities. You tell yourself that these are ‘first-world’ problems but know deep down you have to pivot - make a change. It’s an oxygen mask on yourself moment in the hopes of something greater.