Is It Still Important to Come Out for National Coming Out Day and Trans Remembrance Day?
I have had the privilege to witness many clients reflect on their personal journeys and support the navigation of their identities within a complex social context. Some have even asked if it is still important to come out. And “What if we live in a world where it’s okay to just be, where labels don’t need declarations and existence itself can be revolutionary?”
As a therapist, I can’t answer this but work with people to make their own determinations on what they might feel or believe given who they are, where they live, and what they understand about the world.
Entropy in Relationships — What is that?
Entropy in relational dynamics can be understood as the gradual breakdown of a relationship over time, especially if there is no effort to maintain or nurture it. Just as physical systems naturally move toward greater disorder, relationships—whether personal or professional—can become more disorganized or dysfunctional unless energy is put into maintaining communication, connection, and mutual understanding
How to have Life-Affirming Conversations
I saw an IG live post from Adrienne Marie Brown talking about “soft spaces” which is more fitting sometimes than the traditional concept of “safe spaces.” Brown emphasizes that a soft space is one where we can be vulnerable, where we can share our true selves without fear of judgment. In our conversations about mental health, creating these soft spaces means fostering a space where people feel they can open up without hesitation. It’s about being genuinely present, listening with empathy, and ensuring that the person feels accepted for who they are.
Uh Oh, It's Election Season and the Holidays. I Don’t Like Any of This Sh*t. It’s Too Much. What Should I Do?
Here it is. Election season and the holidays are a toxic blend of stress and chaos. It’s a perfect storm of political ads, end-of-year pressures, and family gatherings that feel more like debates than celebrations. It’s hard enough to manage either one of these on its own, but together? Who can blame anyone for just sitting at home and watching all three seasons of Is It Cake? on Netflix. The worst part? There's no escaping it or anyone who wants to discuss it. Whether you're scrolling through your social media feed, trying to enjoy a quiet dinner or going to the grocery store…, it’s like the world is determined to drag you into the mess of thoughts and opinions on all of it.
So, what should we do when we our mental health is fraying, and there’s no way to just opt out? Here’s a few tips.
With the Fall Brings… Cuffing Season
The air is cooling and the leaves are turning that red/russet, golden yellow so is our collective mood toward dating. It’s cuffing season, that time of year when the prospect of cozy nights snuggled up next to someone seems infinitely more appealing than braving the cold solo. But before we all rush into the comforting arms of a new relationship (or situationship), let’s pause and think about what we’re getting into.
Are You About That Drama? Let’s Talk Drama at Work
We all know that one person who turns every small situation into an epic, season-finale-worthy drama. The real question is: could you be that person? Before you jump to any conclusions (and maybe throw shade), let’s break down a common framework that helps us understand the role we play in creating drama in both life and work using the Karpman Drama Triangle.
Did You Read What You Signed?
Do you read what you sign? Yes, I’m talking about that dense document that you get via email from the office when you are about to start with your therapist. That document that might look like a nightmare to read before your first therapy session? You know, the one filled with office policies, procedures, and an oddly specific cancellation policy. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, skimming through the pages while nodding like we’re understanding everything when, in fact, we feel like ‘we got this’.
The Need for Collective Compassion: Reimagining Our Future Together
Self-compassion has become such a buzzword that it's easy to think that being kind toward ourselves is only a purely personal journey. We all talk about how self-care and self-love are the keys to happiness, and while these practices are important, they might not be enough on their own to feel relief. The truth is that to truly care for ourselves, we must look at how compassionate we are toward each other.
On Violence: An essay on the enduring challenge
Violence continues to permeate societies worldwide, leaving indelible marks on all of us. Its persistence has made it a central focus for scholars across various disciplines, particularly psychology and sociology, alongside news outlets and social media.
The Perils of Summer Love: Love Bombing & Gaslighting
I’ve been thinking about what it means to listen. Listening is a form of active engagement which I think is different from hearing. Hearing is physiological. Hearing is a passive and automatic sensory process. If we have the privilege to hear, we don’t control it. Listening is an active and intentional process. It involves paying conscious attention to the sounds we hear, interpreting them, and understanding their meaning. Listening requires focus, cognitive engagement, and often emotional involvement. It's a deliberate action that goes beyond mere auditory perception to include processing and comprehension. We don’t have to have the physiological function to hear in order to listen.
How Do You Listen?
I’ve been thinking about what it means to listen. Listening is a form of active engagement which I think is different from hearing. Hearing is physiological. Hearing is a passive and automatic sensory process. If we have the privilege to hear, we don’t control it. Listening is an active and intentional process. It involves paying conscious attention to the sounds we hear, interpreting them, and understanding their meaning. Listening requires focus, cognitive engagement, and often emotional involvement. It's a deliberate action that goes beyond mere auditory perception to include processing and comprehension. We don’t have to have the physiological function to hear in order to listen.
Are you using your child to get back at your ex? The Impact of Parental Alienation
Constance and Damian have recently gone through a bitter divorce. Constance feels deeply hurt by Damian's actions during their marriage, and though he wants to stay involved in their children's lives, Damian does not want to be married anymore. This is a blow to Constance, she thought things were going ok despite the challenges of raising two and the economic stress they’ve been under. Constance can't seem to move past her anger. She starts making it difficult for Damian to see the kids—canceling visits at the last minute, ignoring his calls, and speaking negatively about him in front of their children. As weeks turn into months, Damien notices that his son, Jake is becoming more distant, even protective of Constance. His younger daughter, Grace, seems confused. Constance’s unresolved anger is inadvertently causing emotional harm to their kids.
It’s Self-Care Month (designated by the World Health Organization in 2019).
Thanks WHO! Did you know the concept of self-care in the United States originated as a medical term in the 1950s for long term care patients? Later the ‘self care’ concept was adopted by activist groups during the civil rights movement as a way to manage the wear and tear on one’s body when on the front lines. BUT, if we take a moment and decenter western history around the concept, we can see that indigenous forepeople have been attuned to the needs for time for holistically caring for the body (and the planet, for that matter) as a collective responsibility for a community long before the concept was named and, now talked about by influencers. ( I mean, I remember my grandma talking about “resting her eyes”... can anyone else think of terms or phrases from elders that talked about ideas of rest?) Anyway…
Summer is Sexy: Let’s Talk About Safer Sex and Consent Without Shame - 5 Things to Think About
Summer 2024 is about to be here, and with it comes sun-soaked days, late-night adventures, and the sizzling promise of romance and connection of all kinds. Whether you're getting that sexy drip together for smashtime or getting all Bridgeton about it …preparing to rekindle an old flame. It’s time to Let’s Get It On (for you old timers), make that WAP happen ... .or just be in the heat of this undeniably sexy summer. But with all the excitement, it’s essential to keep our conversating (it’s in the Oxford Dictionary!) or conversations around sex, consent, and safety both proactive and shame-free.
Thriving Amidst the Chaos? Burnout in the Age of Late-Stage Capitalism
You’ve been here a long time. You might turn to doom scrollingl through our social media feeds to capture the news of the day with a dash of levity with a baby or cat video but you know you have to get to work. You tell yourself you’re fortunate to have a job, even if the job might not be enough to sustain, or it’s just enough but not fulfilling. You desire to do something different or want to find a way to give back to your communities. You tell yourself that these are ‘first-world’ problems but know deep down you have to pivot - make a change. It’s an oxygen mask on yourself moment in the hopes of something greater.
Being with Suffering
The news is awful. There’s no way to sugar coat it. You can’t ignore it (and empaths, really can’t.) You can’t unsee the things you’ve seen and some feel like it’s their duty to be a constant witness. Small talk might be getting harder for you; and you might find irritation at those who seem like they're always ‘happy’ or are apolitical about what’s happening around them. Platitudes feel lame and, at best, don't really seem appropriate to the times.
Unleash Your Creativity this Spring: A Guide to Manifesting Something New in Your Life
Springtime is often associated with rejuvenation, growth, and the emergence of new possibilities. As nature begins to bloom, so too does our desire for change and exploration. If you've found yourself yearning for something meaningful, different, or transformative in your life, then you're in the right place at the right time. Welcome to the release of "You Are Creative" – a guide designed to ignite your inventive spirit and empower you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and creation.
What is liberation psychology and what is liberation-based therapy?
Originating from the works of psychologists like Ignacio Martín-Baró and Paulo Freire, liberation psychology
emerged as a response to oppressive political regimes and social injustices occurring in Latin American during
the 1970s. It was a time when many Latin American countries were ruled by authoritarian regimes, and people
faced persecution and marginalization for expressing dissenting views or advocating for social change. Against
this backdrop, psychologists recognized the urgent need to address not just individual mental health issues
but also the broader social and political factors contributing to widespread suffering and oppression. This
practice offers a unique perspective on healing—one that prioritizes empowerment, cultural relevance, and
the interconnectedness of personal and societal well-being.
Mutual Aid: A Call to Support the LBT Mental Health Fund - Support Us Store
I started the mutual aid fund during the pandemic because people found themselves in the midst of the crisis without access to mental health services. As we all remember, that time was also fraught with grief in relation to the many, many deaths of loved ones in our communities, job loss, fear and uncertainty of what the future might hold; fear of getting sick; getting sick with little resources. Then add the death of George Floyd, and the extremely divided political situation going into the presidential election - many people were on the brink. LBT reached out to a few generous individual donors who were able to support the fund - and we were able to provide support to people who were in deep need.
On Starting Over…
Life is a wild ride, filled with unexpected detours and crossroads that prompt us to contemplate the daunting prospect of starting over. Whether spurred by personal decisions, external circumstances, or a blend of both, mastering the art of starting over is a vital skill. New beginnings can offer a transformation power, or even a sexy resilience required to navigate change. The opportunities that emerge when we boldly step into the unknown can take us to places we could have never dreamed.