Redefining Success During the Holiday Season: Setting Boundaries with Family Expectations
The holiday season is often a time for you to connect with family and celebrate those familial connections with joy. However, for many of us, the holiday season can be a really stressful period, especially when it comes to the topic of family and setting healthy boundaries. In some households, setting boundaries may be really difficult. This season can challenge even the most centered among us as we navigate various struggles from your relatives’ expectations about how you “should” spend the holidays, subtle (or not so subtle) pressure to achieve certain milestones, or simply just old tensions resurfacing. This year, let’s redefine what success looks like during the holidays. It should not be based on meeting others' expectations but on staying true to ourselves.
Some Thoughts from Us:
Grief is exhausting, messy, and unpredictable. It barges into your life, settles in your throat, your chest, and makes you question everything about life and love.
There’s no “right” way to grieve, no perfect advice that’ll make it less painful or fast-forward you through it. But there are several ways for you to navigate the journey, even if they’re a little clumsy or downright painful.
It’s Latino Heritage Month for Afro-Latinos too
As an Afro-Latino therapist, I often witness the mental health challenges of those that struggle to navigate multiple cultural identities. While it is glorious to be a blend of the diaspora, at times it can feel difficult for some to find themselves between the pressure to preserve a heritage and step into whatever society might deem more of value. I get it, I’ve been there. There is also a generational impact of these struggles. For those of us with parents or grandparents who immigrated, we often inherit their trauma without fully understanding it. There’s a lot of unspoken grief passed down from one generation to the next—their sacrifices, the pain they endured to give us a better life. We carry their stories with us—their survival, their loss—and sometimes that shows up in our own mental health without us even realizing it. It can manifest as anxiety, perfectionism, or the constant fear of failure because we feel we ‘owe it to them’ to succeed. And if we struggle, it can feel like we’re letting down generations of family, which only adds to our emotional and psychological load.
How Do You Listen?
I’ve been thinking about what it means to listen. Listening is a form of active engagement which I think is different from hearing. Hearing is physiological. Hearing is a passive and automatic sensory process. If we have the privilege to hear, we don’t control it. Listening is an active and intentional process. It involves paying conscious attention to the sounds we hear, interpreting them, and understanding their meaning. Listening requires focus, cognitive engagement, and often emotional involvement. It's a deliberate action that goes beyond mere auditory perception to include processing and comprehension. We don’t have to have the physiological function to hear in order to listen.
Thriving Amidst the Chaos? Burnout in the Age of Late-Stage Capitalism
You’ve been here a long time. You might turn to doom scrollingl through our social media feeds to capture the news of the day with a dash of levity with a baby or cat video but you know you have to get to work. You tell yourself you’re fortunate to have a job, even if the job might not be enough to sustain, or it’s just enough but not fulfilling. You desire to do something different or want to find a way to give back to your communities. You tell yourself that these are ‘first-world’ problems but know deep down you have to pivot - make a change. It’s an oxygen mask on yourself moment in the hopes of something greater.