Why Seeing a Therapist Early in your new relationship can Be a Game-Changer

Photo by Henri Pham

Starting a committed relationship is such an exciting time, full of dreams about the future. Whether you’re a cisgender heterosexual couple or a polyamorous queer triad, building a strong foundation from the beginning can make a huge difference in how your relationship unfolds. One often overlooked tool in this process is therapy. It’s not just for fixing problems but can be incredibly useful when things are going well, too. Let’s dive into how seeking therapy early on can benefit both traditional and non-traditional relationships, and what potential challenges you might face.

Take Emma and Jack, for instance. They’ve been dating for about six months and are thinking about taking their relationship to the next level. Both are excited about their future but also aware of the challenges that come with deeper commitment. So, they decide to start seeing a therapist together to explore their goals, values, and expectations.

Therapy can really help Emma and Jack enhance their communication. Learning how to express their needs and concerns openly can prevent misunderstandings and strengthen their connection. Plus, it helps them get on the same page about important topics like finances, family planning, and career goals, which can save them from conflicts down the line. And let’s not forget about conflict resolution. By learning how to handle disagreements constructively from the start, they’re better prepared to navigate arguments without letting them escalate.

Photo by Antoni Shkraba

Couples therapy, while more common today, does continue to face certain social stigmas. One common misperception is that therapy is only for dealing with problems, not for strengthening a relationship. Emma and Jack might need to shift their mindset to see therapy as a proactive tool rather than a reaction to issues. Additionally, one or both partners might be hesitant to fully engage in therapy. For it to be effective, it’s important that both individuals are committed to the process.

Now, let’s consider Alex, Riley, and Jordan, a polyamorous queer triad who have been together for about a year. They’re exploring the idea of deepening their commitment and navigating the complexities of polyamory, so they decide to seek therapy to support their evolving relationship dynamics.

Therapy can be a game-changer for Alex, Riley, and Jordan by providing a safe space to discuss their unique dynamics, like time management, emotional needs, and boundaries. It helps them balance their relationships and maintain harmony. Plus, with each partner bringing their own experiences and expectations, therapy allows them to address these perspectives in a constructive way, fostering understanding and empathy.

Photo by Adil Asainov

Building a strong foundation is just as crucial for polyamorous relationships as it is for monogamous ones. Therapy helps the triad set clear goals and understand each other’s needs, paving the way for a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. However, the complexity of multiple relationships can add layers of difficulty to therapy. It’s important that the therapist is familiar with polyamorous dynamics to offer effective support. Another potential challenge is ensuring that all partners are equally invested in therapy. Open communication and equal participation are key to making the most out of it.

In the end, seeking therapy at the beginning of a committed relationship, whether it’s monogamous or polyamorous, can offer invaluable benefits. It provides a platform for open communication, sets clear expectations, and equips partners with tools to handle conflicts. While there might be some challenges, approaching therapy with the right mindset and a willingness to engage can make a big difference in building a strong, resilient relationship.

If you’re in a relationship and considering therapy, remember that it’s not just about addressing issues but about investing in your relationship’s health and future. If you have any questions or need guidance on how to get started, feel free to reach out. Building a fulfilling relationship starts with understanding and investing in each other—and therapy can be a key part of that journey.

Written by Nicole Rothschild, MFT (she/her)

Nicole Rothschild, MFT (she/her), is a compassionate Marriage and Family Therapist in NYC. She offers a compassionate and collaborative approach, drawing on modalities that bring clients into their bodies to experience more emotional freedom and expression. With expertise in relational dynamics and emotional expression, she supports individuals, couples, and families, including LGBTQ+, poly, and interracial couples, in navigating anxiety, trauma, substance use, and life transitions.