Christina Soto, MS (s/her) is a seasoned, bilingual school psychologist aiding children and their families. She is furthering her skills in an advanced clinical training program focusing on the intersection of interpersonal relationships and mental health. She is at LBT working with individuals, couples, and families.

I’ll be honest, making friends as an adult is HARD, doesn’t matter if you are in your teens or an older adult. During the pandemic, making friends was even harder. As kids, it may have been easier to make friends because we may have been around other people in school, after-school activities, and even sports. As we get older, making friends gets more difficult. We are consumed by our daily lives which may include working all day, home chores and even parenting. We may even move to a new city or the friends that we have are settling into a new lifestyle, perhaps marriage and kids. During the pandemic, we were all in our homes, which didn’t allow us to socialize with others either. Fast forward to 2023 and you may be finding it hard to connect and make friends. 

I’ll tell you this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. This is something that many of us have dealt with or are currently dealing with, we just don’t talk about it as much. As someone who knows many people, but has few friends, I have struggled with this as well. 

How do we make friends as adults though?

• Approach situations with positivity

If we go into situations with a negative mindset, let's be real, it's going to be even harder to make friends. If we go into situations thinking people may not like us, that is the energy we are projecting. Instead, go into situations from a positive perspective. Focus on what feels good, not what we may lack. 

• Find activities that interest you! 

This right here is my top recommendation! Find activities that you like and enjoy. I met one of my best friends at Soulcycle 7 years ago when I graduated college and I didn’t have any friends at home. To this day, we remain in contact even though our lives are insanely busy and she no longer works or goes to classes there. This is one of the easiest ways to connect with people who have similar interests. Maybe try a yoga class, join a book club, or even a cooking class if those are things that interest you.

• Make an effort! 

I know how we may want things to happen right away, however, making friends does not just happen overnight. It takes making an effort to get to know new people and showing up. Make an effort to also try new things and not stay in your comfort zone, where you might end up meeting someone and developing a friendship with them. When some of your acquaintances invite you to outings, make an effort to make time to show up at these events, and who knows you might meet some other new people who you may click with. 

Making friends as an adult can be a daunting task, especially in today's world. However, it is not impossible. It takes a positive attitude, trying new things, and making an effort to connect with others. It may not happen overnight, but with patience and persistence, we can build meaningful relationships that enrich our lives. Remember, we are not alone in this journey, and there are others out there looking for connections too. So take a step forward, who knows, you may find a lifelong friend in the process.

By: Christina Soto, MS (s/her)