Bridging pride and heritage: managing your mental health in the LGBTQ+ and AANHPI Community
Photo by Jason Leung
Observance months are intended to be a time of celebrating the diversity, history, and visibility of our communities, but very rarely do we discuss the nuanced feelings of grief and loss that may also come with it.
This current time between the months of May and June in the U.S. can be especially challenging for LGBTQ+ Asian American and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islanders (AANHPIs) as Heritage Month and Pride Month observances are back-to-back. While the intersection of these observances can be a unique time for us to celebrate both identities, it can also bring up the struggles that come with belonging to communities that often conflict or contradict one another.
Here are some things to be mindful of during these months and beyond. Be kind to yourself and more attentive to your mental health when the following may come up:
Conflicting feelings of family estrangement and acceptance
Family both chosen and of origin can be complex, complicated, and nuanced for those of us at the intersection of LGBTQ+ and AANHPI identity and experience. Family can play a crucial role in the cultural fabric of many AANHPI cultures, which are often collectivist centered and intergenerational. While this cultural importance of family may play a foundational role to our relationships, many of us may still have long standing or unresolved conflicts, tensions, or even relational ruptures with our families of origin related to our LGBTQ+ identity.
During these months where you get to celebrate you, be mindful of when and what you communicate with family members who may activate negative feelings. If you must, try to engage in conversations that bridge understandings between cultural values from your family of origin and community values from your chosen family. Also try to balance this with increased time speaking to family members, chosen family members, and friends who are supportive and affirming.
While many of us may experience the difficult simultaneity of an unaccepting family and an accepting chosen family, the prevalence of this experience does not ease the immense grief and loss we feel in trying to reckon with or reconcile the two. Social support spaces offered by local community organizations that specialize in supporting LGBTQ+ AANHPI people, such as PFLAG or NQAPIA can help us connect with people who are going through this same process.
Photo by Brian Kyed
Reckoning with sinophobia and xenophobia in the LGBTQ+ Community
Racism, sinophobia, and xenophobia have been a historic problem in the LGBTQ+ Community, especially the longstanding discrimination, stereotyping, and fetishization that occurs against the AANHPI members of the community. This can increase feelings of isolation for many of us, especially when we are trying to find relief in LGBTQ+ community away from the pressures of traditional and cis heteronormative standards that may be perpetuated in our AANHPI community.
Taking the time to cultivate a support network of friends and chosen family that acknowledges, understands, and/or actively confronts these systemic issues within the community is important in protecting you and your mental health. Working together as we combat how these historically oppressive systems have harmed all of us is also a crucial part of engaging in community care and encouraging collective healing.
Reckoning with homophobia, transphobia, colorism, and anti-Blackness in the AANHPI community
Addressing the internal prejudices that exist within the AANHPI community has also been a struggle for many LGBTQ+ AANHPI people. Homophobia and transphobia still exists in the community, stemming from cis heteronormative traditional values perpetuated by the colonization of the many countries of AANHPI people. Colorism and anti-Blackness has also been an ongoing and harmful issue in the community with origins rooted in histories of colonialism, imperialism, and slavery tied to many predominantly East Asian and South Asian countries, namely China dating from the 7th through the mid 17th centuries and India across the 14th-15th centuries.
Educating ourselves and others in the AANHPI community about these oppressive systems that continue to show up in our communities is crucial towards reducing harm and division while promoting healing. Supporting movements that intersect multiple forms of oppression that show up and impact in our communities such as Asians for Black Lives, Asian Americans Advancing Justice, Black and Asian Alliance Network, and the Asia Pacific Transgender Network can be helpful resources to both receive and provide support.
For those of us who continue to be directly impacted by these systems within our AANHPI communities, taking the time to care for ourselves, setting boundaries from unhealthy relationships that impede our healing from these systems, as well as being receptive to support from others will be most important to protect and nurture our mental health.
Photo by James Eades
Trying to balance cultural and sexual identity
Trying to balance cultural heritage and sexual identity can be a hard, complex, ongoing process for many LGBTQ+ AANHPI people, often leading to internal conflict with impacts on our mental health.
Receiving support from friends, peers, mentors, or positive role models who share similar experiences or alignment with how you relate to your cultural and sexual identities can be helpful in reconciling cultural expectations with your personal relationship to your identity. This can also help with increasing self compassion in feeling torn between different communities and not having to sacrifice one part of yourself over the other. Finding supportive relationships and spaces where you can show up as your whole self–embracing both your cultural heritage and sexual identity–can be helpful in further nurturing the nuances of your lived experiences so that you may feel safer to live wholeheartedly alongside others who see you fully.
Photo by: Marek Studzinski
Maintaining your mental health is crucial for navigating not just when the above complicated situations or feelings may arise, but also for future sustainability. Here are some practices that may feel supportive to try:
Tools for connection and care:
Engaging in meditation, visioning, or dreaming. These practices can help you stay grounded and centered or encourage expansiveness and creativity.
Engaging in art, writing, music, or dance. These practices can encourage the expression of your emotions and experiences. They can also help you connect with others whether as a shared activity or in sharing your expressions through these mediums.
Increasing physical activities. The practice of physical activity whether through exercise, walking, stretching, yoga, or sports have shown to help increase flow of energy in your body which can create the expression of natural chemicals in your body that can boost your mood, reduce stress, and encourage connection with others.
Building communities. This practice is about creating and cultivating connections. Having communities that offer support networks that affirm your experiences can reduce isolation, stress, anxiety, isolation, and depression. They can also provide a greater sense of belonging, safety, access to resources, and shared hope.
Individualized mental health support. This practice is about carving out the time and resources towards focusing on your own mental health. Whether through seeing a therapist who understands the intersection of your identities, or participating in group therapy or workshops that focus on processing your lived experiences, receiving mental health support that is specifically tailored to your needs can improve your overall health long-term.
Being LGBTQ+ AANHPI presents unique challenges that can affect our mental health, especially at the overlap of Heritage Month and Pride Month. However, by being mindful of our mental health, seeking support, receiving support, engaging in community, and being kind to ourselves, it’s possible to both navigate these challenges while taking the time to celebrate you and your multiplicity. Remember you are not alone and we’re here for you at Liberation-Based Therapy.
Photo by Giorgio Trovato
You can begin your therapy journey by reaching out to one of our therapists in our AANHPI community at the practice:
Rubama Haque, MHC-LP (she/her)
Ren Lee, LCSW (they/them, he/him)
Malissa Pansa-ad, LMSW (sheher)
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